Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
