never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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