your thong is hanging out like whoa
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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