is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize