Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
How does one acquire holy water?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
