he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
