i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
