Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Randomize
