i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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