Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
