not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Every concussion has its silver lining
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
