I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He felt like a one man threesome
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize