you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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