Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize