hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
