The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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