I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
