Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
