I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
