dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
