Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
