Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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