I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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