How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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