I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
