mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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