my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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