no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
