did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
