eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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