She is in my trunk
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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