She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
