Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
