we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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