so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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