You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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