Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
This show inspires me to have sex in space
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
