Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
