Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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