You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just threw up on my dentist
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
