My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
