Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
