He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
