Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
