Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
