I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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