I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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