I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
