Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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