Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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