your thong is hanging out like whoa
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize