I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
