I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
