hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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