i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
