physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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