i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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