did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
