I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize