The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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