i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Less talking, more tequila
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
