oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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